Our feedback made it clear to us that we needed to refine some of our previous ideas to make sure that the piece was as effective as it possibly could be with regards to the codes and conventions of the genre. Firstly, we had to ask people about the flashbacks, these were hard to integrate without it being unclear that they were flashbacks. At first we only had transitions of a few of them and the flashes weren't used at that stage. Feedback suggested that the flashes would be useful as they enabled people to understand that she was thinking back to previous events that had happened (e.g.: her eye makeup reminds her of the make up of the darker personality, as seen in the gif created below).
The toilet scene was used after we realised that our previous bathroom scene was ineffective in showing the narrative. Miriam suggested to us that 'it may be useful to present her using a more public toilet, to show her desperation and her vulnerability as she has to take refuge in a place where most people wouldn't consider'. As a result we then made the Danson Park toilet scene more prominent in the sequence.
Originally our actress was only seen running down the underpass, but again this didn't make the narrative clear on its own. Seen running down the park pathway we were able to show a continuous running pace that made the narrative clearer. Ria thought that, "by showing the running both in the underpass scene and now the park scene, it shows that despite her only running from what she thinks of in a mirror, the narrative is clearer".
Juliet told us that 'by having the scene where she rubs her smudged makeup off in the mirror, the sequence becomes similar to Black Swan, which helps to clear up the narrative'.
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